


The Mom of the Box

by tiedyeflag



Category: OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes
Genre: Family Fluff, M/M, an oc in the form of boxy's mom lol, fink comes close to cursing, laserblast is dead jokes, moms embarrassing their adult son lol, the robots are mentioned, the voxy bunch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21784579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiedyeflag/pseuds/tiedyeflag
Summary: Boxman introduces Professor Venomous and Fink to his mom, family shenanigans ensue!
Relationships: Lord Boxman/Professor Venomous
Comments: 8
Kudos: 99





	The Mom of the Box

Professor Venomous rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, yawning. Frowning drowsily, he raised his coffee mug to his lips, downing the much needed caffeine. With a sigh, he put the cup back onto the dining room table.

Boxman smirked, sitting next to him. “Looks like someone slept well last night!”

“Mm…” Venomous hummed. “To be fair, I had the weirdest dream last night,”

“Weird how?”

“Well...it started normally. I was in my lab when the doorbell rang. When I answered it, there was a woman that looked like you, holding a rooster.”

“And?” Boxman took a sip of his apple juice.

“And...she introduced herself as your mom, and the rooster as your father,”

He spat out his apple juice, spraying it everywhere. Mouth still dripping in juice, he squawked, “M-My dad wasn’t a literal rooster!!”

“Well, you  _ are _ half chicken,”

“I can assure you both my parents are perfectly normal evil avian hybrids.” He finally wiped his face clean with a napkin. Just as he put it back down, he paused in thought. “Come to think of it, uh, you’ve never met them have you?”

“I, um, actually assumed they were no longer of this world.” He rubbed his arm sheepishly. “Since you never mentioned them.”

“Well, my dad’s not here anymore. He kicked the bucket a few years ago...But come to think of it, it’s been a while since I last heard from my mom.”

“Your mom?”

“Yeah, she’s…” Boxman nibbled on his fork, stained in bacon grease and eggs. “She’s nice, I love her, she’s just…” He dangled the fork between his lips. “A bit much sometimes.”

“Huh,”

“Would you, um…”

Venomous tilted his head in curiosity. 

Boxman tapped his fingertips together, his trademark nervous tick. “Would you be interested in meeting her? I mean, we’ve been together for a while, and that’s the kinda thing you do when things are serious, right? Introduce your partner to your parents?”

“You’d...introduce me to her?”

“O-Only if you’d like to! I mean, I’ve been telling her about you and I’m positive she’d be thrilled to meet you.”

“She would?”

“Yeah! And I’d, um,” Boxman pressed his fingertips a bit tighter. “I’d really like you to meet her, too.” He chuckled nervously. 

“Oh, that’s…” Venomous fiddled with a dark strand of his hair. He hadn’t been this serious with a partner in ages, and never as serious as his beloved Boxy...and he hadn’t needed or even  _ wanted _ to meet his partner’s parents since high school. Yes, it made him feel like a nervous teenager all over again. 

Cheeks warm, heart beating just a hair faster, a smile playing on the edge of his lips. “I think I’d like that, actually.”

Boxman’s robotic eye lit up. “Really?”

“I’m actually flattered you’d like to.”

“Oh! What about your parents?” Boxman nearly jumped in his seat like an excited puppy. “We could have like, a double parent date kinda thing!”

Venomous cringed. His eyes went to his now empty plate. Playing with the crumbs of his breakfast, he hissed, “Uh, I don’t...think that’d work...”

“Wha--oh.” Boxman’s face contorted with an awkward grimace of shame. “You mean the whole ‘being an orphan and raised at POINT academy and all that hero stuff’ deal…” He sucked in air through his teeth. “Shoot, I’m sorry, PV, I completely spaced--”

Boxman’s mouth clamped shut when Venomous pressed a finger gently against his lips, shushing him. His expression was soft, but with a playful smirk. “I’ll forgive you for forgetting my tragic villain backstory for a kiss. Deal?”

Boxman smiled despite the finger smushing his lips. It reminded Venomous of a cat’s split lip and was incredibly cute. He was already leaning in for a kiss when Boxman shoved his hand aside to smash their lips together.

* * *

It was only a few hours later when he was in the middle of trimming his mutant bonsai in his serene lab when his cell phone buzzed. It vibrated incessantly until he sighed, put his tools down, and dug his phone out of his back pocket. Staring at the screen, he scanned the text messages.

_ Boxbabe: _ PV UH

_ Boxbabe: _ REMEMBER HOW WE TALKED ABOUT MEETING MY MOM THIS MORNING?

_ Boxbabe: _ Sry caplock was on

_ PV: _ What about it?

_ Boxbabe: _ Uhhhhhhh

_ Boxbabe: _ She’s coming over

_ Boxbabe: _ Like. Right now.

_ PV: _ Wait what

_ Boxbabe: _ She was so excited and said she’ll be here in like 20 mins

Venomous was midway through another text, his fingers trembling as sweat trickled down his forehead when his lab door slammed open. Eyes wide, he turned around to see Darrell standing in the doorway with a vacuum apparatus stuck to his arms.

“Stepdaddy! Didja hear? Granny’s coming!”

“You mean Boxy’s...mother?”

“Yeah! Which means we gotta clean up!” He revved the vacuum. “Gotta be spotless for Granny!”

“Does she not like messes?” Venomous said, proud of his even tone, despite the alarm bells going off in his head. He had yet to shave, apply his makeup, and wait did he remember to brush his teeth this morning? He had to be presentable for Boxman’s mother!

Darrel shrugged. “Nah, she doesn’t mind. We just like to make the factory as nice as possible when she visits because we love her!”

“Oh, that’s...rather sweet,”

“Yep, which means I gotta use this,” He shoved the vacuum nozzle in Venemous’s face. “In here! Gotta clean, clean, clean!”

“Waitwaitwait, don’t!” Venomous gently but firmly pushed Darrel out the door. “I’d...rather clean my lab myself. Why don’t you clean the rest of the factory?”

“You sure? Daddy told us to help you get ready since you spend so much time getting ready.”

Venomous scowled. He was about to retort when Darrell added, “Well, Daddy put it like ‘PV likes to have more time to get ready, so don’t bug him about it and help him however you can’!”

Venemous’s face shifted; he knew Boxy occasionally teased him for spending so much time in front of a mirror, but the way he worded it so carefully to his robotic children, respecting his wishes…

It was almost enough to quell the panic in his head.

“I’m sure, but thanks for the offer. Now go clean Fink’s room or something--oh Cob, Fink!” He hit his head. “Is she even dressed yet?!”

Darrell shrugged.

“Okay, here’s the plan; you or one of your siblings go get Fink ready. I’ll worry about myself, got it?”

“Got it, stepdaddy!”

* * *

Fink scurried down the halls of the factory, darting between robots cleaning and boxes sitting around. She laughed over her shoulder, “Nyeh, nyeh, can’t catch me!”

One of the Darrells was in hot pursuit, running behind her while carrying an armful of frilly dresses, usually for recitals. “Fink, get back here! Stepdaddy told me to get you ready! Which I’m pretty sure means getting you in your nice clothes!”

“No!” She defiantly spat, diving under the legs of a Raymond. “I only wear those when Boss tells me to! Directly! And only for a good reason!”

“But having guests over is a good reason!”

“My lab coat’s fine, botbutt! Leave me alone!”

“No it’s not--” He stopped dead in his tracks. So too, did the rest of the robots in the entire factory. It was as if someone had pressed the pause button on the remote, everyone frozen mid-pose. 

“Huh?” Fink stopped. She sniffed the air, whiskers twitching. “What’s up--”

“She’s here!!” Cried every robot, joyfully.

“Who? Huh?”

Before Fink could get an answer, all the robots dropped what they were doing and ran towards the front of the factory.

Which was coincidentally towards her.

“AaaaaaAAAAAH!!” Fink ran away, heavy robotic footsteps behind her. The robot stampede gained on her, almost stepping on her tail. “Owch! Hey! Watch where you’re going, dummies!” Panting, she frantically looked around for an escape. An air vent near the ground caught her eye. Scurrying even faster, she sprinted towards it, pried it open, and slipped inside just before a metallic foot crushed her. 

“Phew, that was close...now to see what all the fuss is about!” Nose twitching, she crawled through the vents she knew so well, heading towards the front of the factory.

* * *

Fink’s knees were sore by the time she heard Boxman’s voice echo from the lobby of the factory. Determined, she crawled faster, following his honkish voice.

“...good to see you, too. You know the kids are thrilled you’re here too!”

“Oh, of course, pumpkin! I just dropped what I was doing and got here as soon as I could!”

Fink’s ears twitched curiously at the second voice. An older woman’s voice, oddly similar to Boxman’s. She saw a light from the exit vent and crept closer.

“So, how are things going between you and your boyfriend, hmm? Anything fun? In the bedroom?”

“Ugh...I’m gonna pretend you didn’t ask that.”

“Oh, lighten up, pumpkin! It’s my job as a parent to ask embarrassing questions!”

Fink reached the vent and once again, pried it open. Just as her head was out, she realized her mistake.

This vent was located near the ceiling. And was a rather long drop to the tile floor.

“AAAAH--OW!!” She landed with a thud.

“What the--Fink? That you?!” came Boxman’s voice from the other side of a sea of robots.

“Duh, Boxbutt! You’re dumb-bots were about to trample me! I almost bit the dust back there!” Fink sat there, crossing her arms, fur bristling. “So if you wanna say something, come say it to my face!”

Footsteps approached her from the crowd of robots. Fink’s ears perked up at the sound of high heel shoes instead of Boxman’s flats. The figure grew closer, more and more robots stepping out of their way like they were royalty. When all the robots were out of the way, Fink’s eyes went wide.

Standing before her was a short, round woman with pale, wrinkled green skin, even greener hair with white streaks, with bright red lipstick that matched her robotic eye. She wore a gray shawl, pointy heels, and a long, plaid skirt. Clutched in one hand was an old fashioned clasp purse, and in the other, she played with a string of pearls around her neck. She smelled of mothballs, lemon furniture polish, and a hint of toffee.

“Who’re you, Boxbutt’s mom?” asked Fink. “You look like an old, ugly version of him. Older and uglier, I mean.”

“Fink!!” came Boxman’s voice, who shoved his way past his robots until he was next to the woman. “For your information, that IS my mother!’

“Huh?!”

The woman, to Fink’s shock, threw her head back and laughed. “I like this one, she’s spunky!” She placed her hands on her bony hips and looked down at Fink. “You must be Fink, right? Lil’ spitfire?”

“I-I don’t know what a spitfire is, but I’m pretty sure I’m not one!” She barked, jumping to her feet and glaring at the woman.

“If you say so, Finky.” A mischievous glint appeared in the woman’s eye. “Hey, wanna see a trick?”

Fink tilted her head, pouting.

The woman held out her hand. A chicken hand, with a single tallon sticking out. “Pull my finger and see what happens.”

“Are you gonna fart if I pull it?”

“Maybe, maybe not, gotta wait and see!”

Frowning, but tail flickering curiously, Fink hesitantly raised a paw and wrapped it around the finger, and gave it a tug.

With a loud pop, both of her eyeballs fell from her face, one metal, and one glass. Before they even hit the floor, Fink yelped and reared back.

“W-Whoa!!”

The woman cackled like a gleeful witch. “Never gets old!”

“Hey! What if I pull your other finger?” Fink asked with wide eyes. The woman wordlessly held up her other hand, a human hand. Without hesitation, Fink grabbed a finger and pulled.

PFBTH!!

“Ewww! Old lady farts!” Fink held her nose while the woman cackled once again. 

“Don’t look at me, I never said I do the same trick with both hands!” Then she turned to Boxman’s direction with her empty eye sockets. “Johny, could you be a dear and pick up my eyes please?”

“Yes, mom…”

“Wait--’Johny’?” asked Fink.

Boxman bristled, but continued to pick up the eyeballs. “It’s my--my civvy name. John, not Johny, I mean. Here, Mom,” He said as he handed the eyeballs to her.

“Thank you, pumpkin.” As casually as checking the time, she popped each eyeball into her sockets. Once inside, she blinked a few times, before nodding in approval. Then she looked back at Fink, and said, “Anyway, where are my manners? My name’s Lady Esther Boxman, but you can just call me Granny!”

“G-Granny…?” Fink’s expression grew soft in awe. “I...I’ve never had a granny before.” Then her stubborn bratty self returned, and she barked, “Wait, you’re not my granny! You’re those dumb-bots’ granny!”

“Hmm…” She tapped her chin. “So you don’t want me to be your granny, hm?” She grinned wickedly. “Would you like to call me granny if I taught you swear words?”

“I already know all the swear words! I play video games, y’know!”

“Oh, really? Let’s hear ‘em.”

Fink took a deep, deep breath through her mouth, her chest puffed up from the air in her lungs. Her eyes glittered in anticipation, and she opened her mouth. “Fu--!”

A hand clamped over her mouth, and she was scooped up by two arms. She was hoisted to Professor Venomous’s chest, who glared down at her. He hissed into her ear, “Fink,  _ language,” _ before plastering a queasy grin and chirped, “She’s...a real character, this one…”

“Hey, PV!” Boxman said with relief. “‘Bout time you got here!”

Granny’s eyes roved over Venomous’s body while her grin took on a mischievous touch. “ _ Welllll _ you must be the nice young man my pumpkin’s been seeing! Heard so much about you, you know.”

“Um, yes, that’s me,” Venomous put Fink down, gently but firmly nudging her behind his legs. He cleared his throat, took a step closer, and held out his hand. “Professor Venomous, pleasure to meet you,”

Granny took his hand, but instead of shaking it, she used it to pull him forward into a Boxman-esque bear hug. Squeezing her arms, she giggled, “Oh, aren’t you just the sweetest thing! Rather handsome, too…” 

“Eep!” squeaked Venomous at the sharp pinch to his butt.

Just as soon as it began, she released Venomous, practically dropping him on the floor. Clapping her hands together, she turned towards Boxman and chirped, “Now that the formalities are outta the way, why don’t we settle down for a nice lunch, hm? I have  _ so _ much catching up to do between you two!”

* * *

Venomous gulped as he sat on the couch, staring at the freshly brewed cup of tea sitting on the coffee table before him. That coffee table was the only thing separating him and Granny, calmly sitting in an armchair, purse in her lap, legs crossed. The steam from their tea filled the air with the smell of herbs and anticipation. Venomous could hear Boxman busy in the kitchen, singing loudly to himself as he cooked. Craning his neck, Venomous called, “Need any help in there, Boxy?”

“Nope!” Boxman yelled, followed by the clatter of pots and pans. 

Venomous steeled his attention back to Granny, his nerves spiking. He had assumed he would be able to have his first chat with Boxy’s mother with Boxy by his side, keeping him in line and calm. Now, alone in a room with the woman who blessed Cob’s green earth with Boxman, his stomach churned. 

Was this...what it felt like to want to impress someone? 

He hadn’t had this feeling since he apologized to Boxman with the cake.

“Ahem,” Granny coughed.

“Y-Yes?” He cringed at his uncharacteristic stutter.

“Normally, I’d dive right into asking for all the juicy details between you and my pumpkin. However,” Her expression darkened, mirroring her shift in posture. She leaned forward, and even though she barely came to Venomous’s waist, she loomed over the room. The air grew heavy as she took a sip from her tea with the icon clad control and grace of a villainess. When she lowered the cup, the rim was stained with her blood red lipstick. She continued, voice low and coarse, “I’ve been informed of your rather...recent history with my pumpkin.”

“My history…?” Cold sweat trickled down his neck. Did she mean about his POINT days? Laserblast? Or--

“Your whole ‘shadowy’ alter ego, and the actions you committed as such.” She paused. “Including hurting my pumpkin’s feelings.”

“Oh…” He hung his head in shame. His reflection looked pathetic and distorted in his tea. “I...Yes, I cannot deny I hurt him, among other people.”

She snorted. “Hurt him? Oh, that’s an understatement, my dear.” Her fingertips itched at the clasp of her purse, as if holding herself back. “You dumped my baby with no warning, took over his factory, kicked him and my grandchildren out of their own home, and oh I don’t know,  _ almost killed them in one fell swoop? _ ”

Venemous’s shoulders slumped.

“Listen very closely, dear, because I’ll only say this once.”

He looked up at her.

“Dumping my baby is one thing, but the rest of all that is an entire can of worms I would not even dream of forgiving. My son cried to me for weeks over the phone, my one and only baby, bawling his eyes out over what you did to his heart.” Her brows furrowed. “If you hadn’t pulled that disappearing act after all that, you would be a dead man by now.”

Venomous gulped.

Then, her expression softened by just a hair. “And yet after all that, when you finally grew the balls to show yourself again, my son forgave you. As an adult, I must respect his wishes...and from what I’ve heard, you’ve made some improvements.”

Venomous relaxed, but it was over in an instant when she unclasped her purse and slipped her hand into it with cold purpose.

“However, as his mother, if you ever even think about hurting my baby again,” She pulled out her hand, holding an antique, polished knife that gleamed in the dim light, “you will  _ sorely _ regret it. Are we clear, young man?”

The color drained from his face, his complexion a deathly pale lilac. With his mouth dry, he said, “Y-Yes, ma’am. I understand.”

“ _ Crystal _ clear?” She tilted the knife. Venomous could see his reflection perfectly in the sharp metal.

“Crystal clear, ma’am.”

Seconds ticked by like hours. Venomous didn’t dare pull his eyes away from Granny’s, afraid of seeing his reflection yet again on that knife. He felt so cold, like his heart had stopped pumping blood through his veins. Frozen, and afraid.

“...Good!” She chirped, dropped the knife in her purse, and immediately the room lightened up. “Now that that’s out of the way, why don’t I share with you my little Johnny's baby pictures?”

* * *

Boxman whistled cheerfully, pulling out the tray of his family’s trademark pasta-spinach-cheese casserole. He placed it on a hot plate, pausing to smell it. He salivated at the thought of not only eating it, but seeing the looks on PV’s  _ and _ his Mom’s faces when they tasted it. PV’d never tried it, and his mom had never let him cook it for the family get togethers. He beamed with pride as he set the table. He even pulled out a table cloth for the occasion. Maybe this visit wasn’t so bad after all…

“Lunch is reaaaady!” he sang. When there was no clamor of footsteps for his dastardly cooking, he raised an eyebrow. “Mom? PV?” He called, walking into the living room.

The first thing he noticed was all his children crowding around the sofa, with Venomous and Granny sitting in the very middle of it. There were murmurs and cooing, all indistinct from each other. 

A familiar sinking feeling settled into his stomach.

“Uh...guys?”

No one even batted an eye, everyone focused on Granny. She then chuckled, “And look at this one! Look at how cute lil’ Johny is in his sailor outfit!”

“Awwwww!” everyone cooed, especially Venomous.

“That’s where I got my sailor suit!” chimed Darrell.

“Oh Cob, MOOOOM!” Boxman dove for the couch, right between his mom and Venomous, but he was too slow. His mom kept the photo album out of his grasp, and he slipped, rolling off the couch cushions and onto the floor with a graceless thud.

Venomous asked, “You alright, Boxy?”

Boxman jerked his head up. “Oh I don’t know, my mom’s showing you AND my children my most embarrassing baby pictures, what do you think?!”

Fink waved from her seat in Granny’s lap and squeaked, “Hey! I’m here, too! And all of these are hilarious! Haha!”

“Oh great, Finkie’s here too, just great.”

“We saw the one where you’re in your onesies, the one where you’re covered in peas, and--OH oh oh and the one where you’re in a bathtub and we can see your butt! HaHAHA!!”

Boxman groaned into his hands, his blush spreading from his cheeks to his neck. He wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear in a ball of feathers, metal, and shame. He would have done just that, had Venomous not gently tapped his shoulder, pried his hands from his face, and tugged him off the floor and into his lap.

“Aw, Boxy, it’s not so bad,” purred Venomous. “I find them all adorable.”

“‘M not adorable, ‘m evil,” grumbled Boxman.

Granny snorted, turning the page of her photo album. “You can be both, silly. Like here, see?” She pointed to a polaroid of a seven year old Boxman, covered in soot, holding a crudely made remote control, grinning wickedly. “Remember, Johny? You brought your first robot to school and nearly burned the whole building down! Oh and you were as cute as a button while you were at it!”

“Mom, please…”

Venomous leaned over and cooed, “D’awww, how did something so cute grow up to be so evil?”

“That’s my pumpkin!” Granny chuckled. “Just like his mom!”

“Well, if we’re all done  _ embarrassing _ me, a level -10 villain, can we go eat already?” said Boxman. “The caserole’s gonna get cold!”

“Oh, maybe just one more picture--”

“MOM!!”

“Oh alright, alright,” She closed the book and dropped it back into her purse, despite the purse being much smaller than the book. “Let’s eat! Can’t gush over my son and my grandbabies on an empty stomach!”

* * *

Venomous stared at the haphazard slice of casserole Boxman had cut. Shades of golden yellow, brown, and green could be seen inside, still wafting steam. Boxman let it plop onto his mother’s plate. It made a wet ‘splop!’ sound when it made contact with the porcelain. Despite its appearance, it smelled incredible, or at least Venomous thought so, so used to (and in love with) Boxman’s cooking. His mouth watered when Boxman cut a slice for him next, followed by Fink and the rest of the robotic children. When Boxman plopped the final slice onto his own plate, he said, proudly, “What are you waiting for? Dig in! I didn’t slave away in the kitchen for you guys to just stare at my cooking!”

The clatter of silverware against porcelain filled the air as everyone shoved bitefulls into their mouths. Fink almost went at hers with her bare hands, nose twitching at the smell of cheese, but Venomous elbowed her, then pointed his eyes to her silverware. Slumping her shoulders, she picked up her fork and stuck a forkful into her mouth. Immediately her eyes lit up, followed by her chewing with enthusiasm.

“Boxbutt!! This is actually good! Like, edible!!”

“You say that every time, Fink,” Boxman rolled his eyes. Then he looked over to his mother, already swallowing her biteful. “So, uh, what do you think, Mom?”

“Your cooking gets better every time, pumpkin! I love it!” She grinned, already cutting off another bite.

“Hey, uh, Boxbutt Granny,” asked Fink, between mouthfuls of casserole, “Can I ask you somethin’?”

“Shoot, Finkie,”

“Where’s Boxbutt’s dad?”

Venomous choked, barely stopping himself from spitting out his food. Before he could give Fink a glare, Granny answered.

“Oh, he’s just waiting for me in Hell, like all good villains should. Ha!”

Boxman coughed. “Yeah, he...passed away a few years ago, Fink.”

Fink tilted her head. “So was he part chicken too, or was he just a giant chicken?”

Boxman snickered into his water glass, sparing a glance towards Venomous, who sheepishly averted his eyes.  _ Like father like daughter _ , he thought…

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” said Granny, digging through her purse and pulling out the accursed album. “Let’s see, I know there’s a good photo of him in here somewhere…”

Boxman stiffened. “Just not the  _ one _ photo…”

“Oh! Of course, that’s perfect, thank you, pumpkin!” She flipped through the pages faster.

“Oh, me and my big mouth…”

She stopped at a page and exclaimed, “Here it is! Have a look, everyone!” She turned the book around and held up the album for the entire table to see. In the very middle of the page was a framed photo of a man with the head of a rooster, complete with a beak and crown, covered in colorful feathers down to his neck, but with burly, featherless arms. Smiling, he held up a round baby with a crown of green fuzz and wiggling in a diaper. The baby appeared to be mid-giggle while the man was absolutely beaming.

“This here is John’s old man, Lord Richard Boxman, and this was when he changed Johnny’s first diaper!”

“Moooooom…”

Fink broke into laughter, pointing at the photo. “HAHAHA, look at how dumb he looks!”

Boxman let his head fall on the table, his metal plate making a clunk as it hit the table. He groaned helplessly into the tablecloth. He only stopped when he felt Venomous pat his head.

“Well, I can see where you got your muscles from, Boxy,”

Granny chuckled. “You betcha! My lil’ Johnny would copy Richy whenever he could, whether it was lifting weights or following him to the workshop. Those two were always tinkering around in there, too, making all sorts of evil contraptions.” Her expression grew tender. “He’d be so proud of you, Johny.”

Boxman raised his head, expression equally soft. “Thanks, Mom…”

“Oh, by the way, what about your parents, Venny?” Closing the book, she looked at Venomous. “I’m dying to meet the lovely people who raised such a fine young villain like yourself.”

Venomous’s eyes went as wide as the dinner plates on the table. “Uh...I…”

“Th-That’s classified!” barked Boxman.

Granny didn’t even blink, her eyes narrowing. “Ohhh, I get it. Tragic villain backstory, hmm? Were you orphaned, you poor thing?”

Venomous busied himself with poking at his food. “Sort of…It’s a long story.”

“Oooooh lemme guess, lemme guess; orphaned, raised by heroes, rebelled against the hero culture and became a villain? Or was a mad scientist that experimented on yourself but it backfired?? Or did you fake your death and change your identity due to mental trauma???”

Venomous and Boxman’s faces fell into utter shock, a thick silence settling over the casseroles like a fog. Everyone but Granny was fazed, and she continued, “Ooh, did I get it right? Which one? Which one??”

“I…” Venomous managed, “I have the right to remain silent.”

“Oh no no no, don’t tell me! I wanna figure it out myself!” She tapped her fingertips together in an excitable Boxman gesture. “Hmm, probably not the ex-hero one though, don’t know many previous heroes that looked like purple twinkies, but I wonder…”

Venomous would have done a spit take had he been drinking. Almost choking on air, he leaned over to Boxman and whispered, “You didn’t tell her I used to be Laserblast, right?”

“Of course not!” Boxman whispered back. “But to be honest, I don’t think she’d even believe us…You weren’t exactly a twink back then.”

“I’m not sure I should be grateful or disappointed,”

“Hey, what are you two whispering about?” Granny interrupted. “C’mon, give Granny the gossip!”

Boxman and Venomous kept their lips sealed, their eyes darting between her and each other.

“Aw, c’mon boys, you can tell me! Making plans for later tonight? In the bedroom?”

“MOOOM! Not in front of the kids!”

Despite Boxman’s protests, almost everyone broke into laughter.

* * *

“Okay, everyone, come here for one more hug!” Granny held out her arms, and immediately the robots ran up to her, burying her in a pile of robot hugs.

“I’m gonna miss you, Granny!”

“Thanks again for the makeup, I love it!”

“It’s always such a delight to see you!”

“I can’t wait to see you again, Grandmother!”

“Mikayla!”

“I am Jethro!”

Granny chuckled as she rocked them all back and forth in her arms. Suddenly she paused when a bundle of green fur wriggled through the robot limbs and poked its head out. It was Fink, and she said, “Granbox! Can you bring more funny pics of Boxbutt next time? Please? Pretty please?”

“Oh I’ll do better than that, Finkie! If you get a VHS player, I’ll bring some home videos of him when he was the cutest lil’ thing!”

“YEAHHHH!”

Meanwhile, Boxman and Venomous stood to the side, surveying the domestic scene before them, just outside the Voxmore entrance. Boxman was blushing furiously while Venomous wore a fond smile. Venomous gently pat his head and said, “Y’know, I’m rather glad your mother came over today. She’s a rather nice lady, even for a villain.”

“Like I said, she’s nice, I love her, she’s just...a bit much.”

“Next time she’s here, I’ll have to show her Fink’s baby pictures.”

“What, are you guys gonna trade embarrassing baby pictures of Fink and me?”

“Aw, Boxy, they weren’t all embarrassing. I thought they were precious.”

“I swear, next time I attack POINT, I’ll find and show everyone every single one of your baby pictures,”

“Joke’s on you, Laserblast is dead, and you can’t embarrass a dead man.”

“Johnny! Venny!” called Granny. The robots and Fink had finally released her, and she walked up to the two men with open arms. “Come give me one last hug!”

Boxman sighed, but held open his arms as he and Venomous walked into Granny’s embrace. She squeezed them by the waist, gently rocking them back in forth with fondness. “Ohhh, I already miss you two,”

Boxman said, reluctantly, “Despite everything that’s happened today, I...I’m gonna miss you too, Mom.”

Venomous pulled away slightly and said, “It was a pleasure meeting you, Granny.”

“Pleasure meeting you, too, Venny,” She chirmed with her hand hovering above his ass. Just before she could cop a feel, Boxman batted her hand away.

Coughing, Boxman stepped away. “So! Mom, do you need a ride home? My rocket desk just got new rocket boosters!”

“Oh, that’s alright, pumpkin! I’ll just take my chair.”

“Your chair?” Venomous raised his eyebrows, baffled.

“That chair!” She pointed to a lawn chair sitting innocently in the driveway. Or not so innocently, if the metal pipes and propane takes bolted to it were any indication. She strolled to the chair and sat down in it, then buckled her seat belt. Once situated, she pulled out a remote control and pushed a button. The pipes hummed to life, metal vibrating against plastic. Fire ignited from the exhaust pipes, lifting the chair off the ground. 

Granny began to cackle like a wicked witch, sitting in her hoovering throne. “Well, guess this is so long! Love you, Pumpkin, and love you too, kiddos! WooHOO!!” She hooted as she gave the chair more gas, and her chair rocketed into the sky, leaving behind a trail of smoke. 

Everyone stared after her, following the smoke trail until she disappeared into the clouds. The smoke dissipated, and the air was quiet, as if she was never at Voxmore at all.

Fink was the first to move, creeping to Boxman’s side and tugging his lab coat. “Hey, Boxbutt?”

“Yeah?”

“Can she come over again? Like for Shucksgiving and Cornmas?”

“Wait, you’d be...okay with my mom coming over?”

“She’s still a boxbutt, but she’s cooler than you! So can she? She can, right Boss?” She looked up at Boxman and Venomous with big, Bambi eyes.

Venomous ruffled her hair. “Well, as long as Boxy’s okay with it, I see no reason why not.” He paused. “As long as she doesn’t try to grope me again.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing!”

Boxman sighed, scratching his neck. “Well, if you guys are okay with her...Then sure. But on the condition you never laugh at my baby pictures ever again! Or my baby videos!”

“Aw, c’mon!” Fink wailed. “That’s like telling a hero not to be a goody two shoes!”

“Oh, fine then!” Boxman huffed, marching back inside the factory. “I’ll just burn every VHS player before she gets here, can’t laugh at something you can’t see, ha!”

Venomous leaned over to Fink and whispered. “Don’t worry, I’ll get us a fireproof VHS player just for you and Granny.”

“Thanks, Boss!”

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been floating around my head for weeks now, but I was so busy with finals I couldn't get around to writing it until now. Enjoy the family feels everyone, it's what we all deserve at this time of year :)
> 
> Big thank you to anonymousEDward for proofreading my drabbling again!


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